Renaissance

This week has a few "sablays" already and to think the week hasn't ended yet! doh. I can't wait for this week to end!!!

Sablay#1: I went to UST last Tuesday...i passed my certificate of honorary dismissal then checked my schedule.Ugh.My schedule sucks.It's not that i hate my schedule, i actually like it, but it forces me to find an apartment/dormitory/condo near UST asap. Imagine i have classes Monday to Friday 5 to 9PM and Saturday, 1-3 PM! I'm a nocturnal person so late night classes are no prob...what's really bothering me is how am i supposed to go home?!?! España is swarming with snatchers/thieves and (gulp!) rapists! I can drive but i'm not yet that good. *sigh* Renting an apartment/dormitory/condo is too costly. Besides, i'm gonna miss my brothers and my room! Oh dear.

Sablay#2: I got sick.Everyone's getting sick lately. I even accidentally swallowed Bactidol gargle!! It's terrible!! Eeeew.

Sablay#3: My laptop's ruined!! As in i can't see anything! The monitor's completely blank. I didn't use it for a month! Pao and SImon were the ones who played "Rome" on my laptop the whole summer!!! I hate it when somebody messes up my stuff.. (Lord, give me patience...) Imagine the hassle of going to Makati to have my laptop fixed...and the cost too! (if there's any..)

I hope that that'll be all the sablays for this week...I can't take another mishap/accident/or whatever this week.It's still summer noh...and summer means a two-month guarantee of a stress-free week!!

I used to sleep around 3 to 5 in the morning but this time, i woke up at 3 am! So, the moment i woke up, i grabbed my copy of the book, "I kissed Dating goodbye." On page 84, there's this teenie-weenie question that really caught me, well, slightly off-guard: "Do you trust God?" Honestly, i find it a lil hard to trust Him. Smetimes, i just feel like grabbing my own calendar from His hands and change it. Instead of marrying, let's say, at the age of 27, i'll change it to 25 or 26. Most of you know that i hate, hate, hate waiting. If i am still my old self, i would probably go out, meet other guys and rush out into the dating market. But, i trust Him wholeheartedly. So i'll leave the dating part to Him. Siya na bahala.ü

The moment i read that question, i prayed and even gave Him a description of what i want my future hubbie to be like.ü (it took me the whole 20 minutes to describe to Him my future hubbie!) I told Him that i believe He will make me into a fine young lawyer (syempre successful pero humble.ü), a compassionate mother and wife, a loving friend, and a good daughter. Miraculously, he answered my prayers. I opened my bible, and the first few verses said:



Lufet! I prayed for 25-30 minutes and He answered it in a few seconds!Lupet talaga!Of course, He didn't answer the marriage part noh. As if He'll give me Mr. Superman right away but i believe He will...someday...in His own time.

I've been watching cartoons all my life. Some people find it amusing while some find it weird and immature. People who find it it weird probably think that maturity is ALWAYS measured based on one's TV show choices, professionalism, or "monetary fulfillment". But, i think maturity involves one's ability to grasp his/her inner child, at the same time, keeping up with "grown-up" issues. Well, i think that what you were before and what you are now are the things that make you who you are and what you want to be.

Most people i know nowadays (some even younger than me) seem to have lost their ways. I noticed that for these people the most important issues mostly concern superficial and materialistic things such as,popularity, sex and drugs. Gone are the days when people value honor, respect and simplicity. Suddenly, people are engaging themselves on life's less important issues - trying to keep up with society's urban and fast-paced lifestyle when they know they can't. Just by looking out our kitchen's life-sized windows, i can see people wearing different masks everyday, masks that serve to "protect" their true identity. I am a hypocrite when i say that i don't wear a mask but at least i know what i really want and who i really want to be - me. As much as possible, i am trying extremely hard to lose these masks. i don't care anymore if people will gossip or talk about who i really am. To hell with them! This is me. These are my choices. These are the things i want and the things that make me different from anybody else. I am no reporduction of some silly magazine or some popular tv show. The world doesn't need another britney spears or cindy crawford or paris hilton.right?

I myself find certain peace abd satisfaction whenever i watch cartoons and laugh like a kid. hmmm...my own lil world. i just want to keep it that way because it makes my life less complicated. I've had enough physical, emotional, and mental (hey!i'm not crazy..just a lil.heehee!) complications for a year.All i want is peace of mind and i'm glad i have found it with Him.

After 4 long, sleepless, and stressful nights, i swore to myself that I will make-up for all the nights that i wasn't able to sleep. And i did! Believe me, for the whole 2 weeks all i did was sleep, eat, sleep, eat, sleep, eat..There was never a day since vacation that my mom didn't complain about my sleeping habit.Who wouldn't?I sleep around 4 am and wake up at 5pm! For two weeks, the first thing i do is go to the kitchen and look for something to eat! *SIGH* tsk..tsk..this is the life of a SLOB! No wonder i gained 4 lbs!

Although i planned on spending most of my time reading, i got hooked on playing Sims2 on my laptop. SIMS 2 is far better than the rest of the SIMS expansion combined. Each character has a lifetime aspiration and it is up to the player on how he/she will fulfill this character's goals.It is so realistic coz the babies really do grow up and women go through the same stages of pregnancy.Cool noh? I know it sounds like playing god but i just play for the heck of it.Besides, i love building and decorating houses!ü I am sooo hooked!

'Nuff bout SIMS 2.While i was confined in the safe corners of my home, thousands of people around the world suffered from the loss of their loved ones because of the tsunami that struck thailand, the fire that burned 13 houses here in my city, the typhoons that left hundreds of FIlipinos homeless, and the dengue epidemic that striked back. The latter threatened my dreams of spending new year with the whole family. My youngest brother was confined in the hospital for 3 days. He's ok now.Thank God!ü !The least i can do is pray and act for those people who needed our help..my help! I prayed for those people who didn't have the chance to welcome 2005 with their loved ones..i prayed for the souls of those who died. Some of them weren't probably enlightened on living a GOd-centered life but i know He unconditionally welcomed them back!ü I prayed for the people who wanted and needed change; I prayed for the people who seek purpose in what they do; I prayed for my family and friends who somehow lost their way..i prayed that God will send them angels to bring them back; I prayed for my country.

May you all have a blessed year ahead!

I went to the dentist a while ago. My dentist since grade school, Dra Cabasal, said that i SHOULD</font> avoid staying up until the wee hours of the morning because it weakens my gums and bones. (FYI: Not getting enough sleep decreases body resistance) Plus, it increases the possibility of me having pneumonia again! I recently stopped smoking to further strengthen my commitment to Christ but I guess the school work is the BIGGEST contributing factor to my deteriorating health. You cannot imagine the load that the school is giving us..err me for that matter! Since i'm an irregular student and i am dying to graduate on time, i took 28 units this semester - 24 units in Assumption and another 4 units in St. Scho! Imagine me going to St Scho every Tuesday and Thursday after my class in Assumption. Hassle man!!!! Plus, our department dean demanded us to pass our thesis revisions on January 10, 2005!! WTF?! We only had our thesis defense last monday and she is only giving us a month to finish our thesis revisions! I think she really has no plans of giving us a STRESS-FREE vacation!Ugh! It is no wonder why my health is suddenly deteriorating. I'm just praying that God will help me on this one.

After going to the dentist, i went straight to festi to attend YOF. As usual, i had fun during the cell group and worship sessions. I asked Kathi to attend the worship because i know she'll like it. (uhh..i hope she did like it.) We even had a game to celebrate the Christmas spirit. Sadly, my group didn't win. Anyway, some of us went to "CSI MIAMI" after the game.I introduced kathi to the rest of the crew. she finally met these God-crazy teenagers (and aspiring teenagers). hehe.

The weirdest thing happened when francis drove me home. While we were talking about our great appreciation for all genres of music, he blurted out that he had a prophecy that I would someday lead the worship. WHOA! He also said that prophecies do change but everything is up to me and to God's will. It is certainly an honor for me to lead hundreds of teenagers who are dying to walk with God. After all, i was this young adult who had a traumatic past. So many events in my life made me hold on to the devil. Although i am a sinner and i had greatly sinned, He never left my side. And this made me want to share my story, my life, to every lost human being.

"Being Twenty-Something"

They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis." It is when you
stop going along with the crowd and start realizing
that there are many things about yourself that you
didn't know and may not like.

You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will
be in a year or two, but then get scared because you
barely know where you are now. You start realizing
that people are selfish and that, maybe, those
friends that you thought you were so close to aren't
exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the
people you have lost touch with are some of the most
important ones.

What you don't recognize is that they are realizing
that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or
insincere, but that they are as confused as you. You
look at your job... and it is not even close to what
you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are
looking for a job and realizing that you are going to
have to start at the bottom and that scares you.

Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what
others are doing and find yourself judging more than
usual because suddenly you realize that you have
certain boundaries in your life and are constantly
adding things to your list of what is acceptable and
what isn't. One minute, you are insecure and then the
next, secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest
force of your life. You feel alone and scared and
confused.

Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on
to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the
past is drifting further and further away, and there
is nothing to do but stay where you are or move
forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you
loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed
and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough
that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love
someone but love someone else too and cannot figure
out why you are doing this because you know that you
aren't a bad person.

One night stands and random hook ups start to look
cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts
to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and
questions over and over, and talk with your friends
about the same topics because you cannot seem to make
a decision.

You worry about loans, money, the future and making a
life for yourself... and while winning the race would
be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!

What you may not realize is that everyone reading this
relates to it. We are in our best of times and our
worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure
this whole thing out.

oh..i can relate!!! AMEN!!

WHEW!Yesterday was one of the most nerve-wracking moments of my life.Tina and i had to defend our 91-page thesis (which we only did in 4days!haha beat that!ü) in front of sir del mundo and sir nilo.The defense turned out to be one of the most hilarious defense ever..hehe..our company needs to be reported to the BIR coz they've been faking their financial statements jsut to avoid paying a huge amount of tax.tax evaders!The owners are very selfish..Imagine this: 1 small family earning around $54 MILLION for exporting holiday decors and home furnishings and they only have 1 teenie-weenie factory and 17 workers(11 are regular the rest are laid off after finishing the project!) Talk about GREED.

Anyway, the important thing is we were able to finish and defend that darn thesis.(take note:4days!!) We didn't even have to defend it again.yahoo!ü just a few revisions and then i'm all set to go to the corporate world...er law school?!

i had CELL at mcdo hill today (it's in alabang in front of elsie gaches).'Twas fun..i was able to release this pent-up fear and guilt that i've been keeping for almost a year.I'm thankful that Annie introduced me to YOF.After the cell group, we all went to timezone and played daytona and house of the dead.I'm being a kid again!I'm not really an arcade person but these people taught me how to be one.I was embarassed though coz Jay asked me to play air-hockey with him.*BUZZ* SOrry jay,u're asking the wrong gal..i don't even play air-hockey!But i played anyway.ü I was trying REALLY HARD to score some points but to no avail,i failed.Jay:5 me:ZILCH!I love playing house of the dead though.You know how much i love watching morbid movies and other morbid stuff.